March 18, 2025
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Navigating parenthood is difficult.

Everyone has their own guidelines, traditions, and rules – but there’s no perfect way to raise children.

Though, a lot of people on Reddit had quite a bit to say about this woman’s choice to stop cuddling with her daughter… Keep reading to find out why!

The mother explains her side

The 37-year-old woman took to Reddit‘s ‘Am I The A*****e‘ thread to explain a recent situation that occurred with her young daughter.

“My daughter is very small for her age and as a result gets treated like a younger child sometimes,” the woman began in her post.

“She loves to hop in my or my [husband‘s] lap and cuddle with us on the couch or in a chair,” she continued, adding that she had started thinking that perhaps her daughter was getting “too old” for that type of cuddling and that maybe she was even hurting her daughter by letting her continue doing so.

Credit: Getty.

The day before the woman wrote her post, the 11-year-old daughter tried to get onto her mother‘s lap and cuddle. “I told her she was too old for that and to get off me,” the woman said. “She got really upset, got off me and went to her room and slammed the door.”

Now, the young girl was not tried to cuddle with her mother, and apparently there was some tension at home following the incident. “She doesn’t talk to me unless she has to and when I hugged her goodnight last night she didn’t hug me back,” the woman explained.

“I feel really guilty because I obviously hurt her feelings but I feel like she might be too old for sitting on my lap,” she added, asking fellow Redditors whether she was the a*****e in the situation.

What did the internet say?

Unfortunately, the woman was deemed “the a*****e” in the situation, with many people taking to the comments to blast her for throwing away valuable bonding time with her daughter. Essentially, her story was not received well at all!

The woman’s story was not received well online. Credit: Getty.

“She’s not going to want to cuddle you much longer. You may have a year left. And you’re throwing that time away instead of cherishing it,” one person said.

Another added: “There’s nothing wrong with directing a child towards more age-appropriate behaviors or expressing that something is no longer comfortable for you. That’s part of helping a child grow up. But you do need to redirect them to a behavior that is appropriate (because they need to be taught, they don’t automatically know) and reinforce that while your relationship with them is changing, your love for them is consistent.

“If you told her to ‘Get off’ with no warning, it’s no wonder why she perceived that as rejection and is now completely confused as to what sort of physical affection is ok or will get her snapped at,” they continued.

A further comment read: “I work at a nursing home. We have a 78-year-old man who comes to visit his 99-year-old mother every week. She has dementia and they hold each other and they both light up. You never outgrow the need for love and affection from your parents.”

What would you have done if you were the mother in this situation? Do you have any advice for her? Let us know in the comments!

The outpouring of advice and criticism from the Reddit community sent a clear message to the mother: physical affection, especially between a parent and child, should never be restricted based on age. Many users argued that cuddling, in particular, is a form of bonding that transcends age, and that cutting it off too soon can cause emotional distance.

One commenter summed it up perfectly: “Cuddling with your daughter is about connection, not her size or age. She’s growing up, but that doesn’t mean she needs less affection, just a different way of expressing it.”

Some users pointed out that it’s natural for children, especially those approaching adolescence, to seek comfort and reassurance from their parents, often through familiar forms of affection. They warned the mother that pushing her daughter away could lead to a breakdown in trust and emotional closeness during a critical time in the girl’s development.

“Kids grow fast. Don’t push her away. If she’s still coming to you for love and comfort, embrace it because one day she might not,” a user cautioned.

Others shared personal stories about their relationships with their parents, stressing the importance of nurturing physical affection as a way to maintain a deep emotional bond. Many emphasized that even in adulthood, they still valued their parents’ hugs and physical closeness.

One Redditor shared, “I’m 35 and my mom still hugs me like I’m a kid, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. Your daughter needs to know she’s loved, not that she’s too big to be cuddled.”

The consensus in the thread was clear: there is no “too old” for showing love and affection. Users encouraged the mother to take this opportunity to apologize to her daughter and find new ways to communicate that while their relationship is evolving, the love between them remains unchanged.

As one user wisely put it, “It’s not about cuddling—it’s about connection. Kids never outgrow the need for love from their parents.”

Ultimately, the comments served as a reminder that parenting isn’t about following rigid rules, but about adjusting to your child’s needs as they grow. Maintaining physical and emotional closeness, particularly in moments of transition like adolescence, is crucial for building strong family bonds.

Would you handle this situation differently? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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